Getting Back in Balance

At the risk of sounding annoyingly Oprah-like, I’m going to tell all of you that I fell off the wagon and I’m making my way back on. I got the latest O Magazine in my stocking and the long article about how Oprah stopped taking care of herself and gained 40 pounds really resonated with me. So, here’s a tell-all of my own.

When I get busy with work and school, I stop doing the everyday things that are necessary to maintain a life. It’s not my favorite thing about myself and it’s the thing I’m committed to improving. I’ve somehow gotten myself so wired to achieve that the external approval of bosses and public praise and straight As becomes in my mind more important than anything else. Which might be fine, except it isn’t. Not for me. I just wind up exhausted and depleted inside.

The month from me writing about finding Buddha’s Hand to arriving home in SE on Christmas Eve is a total blur. I went from Thanksgiving visitors to the busy last week of classes to final exams to catching up on all of the Christmas preparations that I couldn’t get to during finals to traveling to see family the weekend before Christmas to Christmas Eve. During the middle of this I also showed up at my de facto full-time job every day and tried not to make everyone else around me as miserable I was. I didn’t write in my blog for Laura’s bday and anything else fun, I barely saw Robin and Jana, I didn’t get to go to John Legend, I didn’t pick up prescriptions I need, I didn’t get my oil changed, I rarely ate real meals, I didn’t exercise, I didn’t read anything I wanted to read, I didn’t do my dishes for three weeks, and I still haven’t gotten my EZPass fixed. I went to work, did homework, worried about not working enough, and worried about not getting enough homework done. I got really good grades and I did well at work, but neither of those things make a whole life. Or, not the kind of life I want.

Going nowhere for Christmas except Regal Gallery Place 14 afforded me what I’ve really needed all semester: time to rest, get some perspective, and take my life back. Enough is enough. Working and going to school at the same time is hard, but it doesn’t have to be as hard as I made it this past semester. I have to make time to do things that are important to me that have nothing to do with school or work, like writing and spending time with friends and cooking real meals and reading real books and walking and doing yoga.

It will be easier next semester because I learned something important this semester: my best is good enough and I really like my job and my program at VT. So much will improve if I can just work and do homework and not waste time worrying about not doing enough for either.

My only goal for the week is to write a belated birthday blog for LO and one about my fun New Year’s Eve. So, stay tuned for those and enjoy your own restful period. Thanks for listening.